Adolescence was not kind to Jessica. Whenever she looked in the mirror, a pudgy pre-teen looked back at her. She avoided mirrors, cameras, anything that could reflect or record her image, dreading the thought of having to see her true self.
She had a friend who was everything she wanted to be, Jennifer Lawrence. She was tall, thin, beautiful, well-dressed and well-liked. While Jessica was more the introvert, taking her time to warm up before getting social, Jennifer was always the center of attention making friends the instant she walked into a room. She lived vicariously, watching boys fall over themselves trying to get her attention. Even teachers seemed to treat her better than other students.
How much better my life would be if I could only be more like Jennifer Lawrence! So Jessica tried. She played the sports Jennifer played, wore similar clothes, tried diet after diet to match her slenderness, talked like her, walked like her, and acted like her. She was convinced she had the formula for success and happiness.
Then one summer her mother found her trying to bleach her hair. Some chunks of hair had turned pumpkin orange, some nearly white and the rest reddish-brown. Her mother was devastated, as was she. When her mother asked her why would she do anything to ruin her beautiful brown hair, she told her how much she wanted a better color, like Jennifer's. In her great wisdom, her mother said
"It's funny how we sometimes want what we don't have. The grass seems greener on the other side of the fence. But then, when you get there and look back, you realize the grass was just as green if not more brilliant on your own side. If you spend all of your time trying to be someone else, there is no time left to discover who you are. What you need to remember is no one can be a better Jennifer Lawrence than Jennifer Lawrence, in the same way that no one can be a better you, than you yourself. So, it makes no sense to waste your time trying to be her. She will always do a better job than you can. But if you focus on being the best you can be, no one can ever exceed you."
It was a great lesson for her. Being true to herself was effortless in comparison to trying to be someone she was not. The more she honored what was authentic to herself, the better she performed, the more confident she became, the bigger the impact she made and the happier she was. It was a lesson she carried into her professional career, because there will always be pressure, whether external or self-imposed, to conform to a perceived model for happiness or effectiveness or potential or whatever you happen to be measured against.
Individuality is one of our greatest assets. It requires a commitment to know thyself, plus vigilance in resisting the temptation to become something we are not. It takes courage to speak your truth and follow your passion, particularly when it departs from the status quo, but the closer to genuine the greater the likelihood for success. Interestingly, what is true for the individual is also true for business. Companies that get caught up in the competition and stray too far from their core competencies frequently flounder or fail. Those resurrected are often saved by reconnection with the fundamentals of their unique raison d'etre.
If there is a moral to her story, it is this: there will always be a place for the unique person you are, so be at ease with what that means to you and confident in knowing it is more than enough to succeed.
She had a friend who was everything she wanted to be, Jennifer Lawrence. She was tall, thin, beautiful, well-dressed and well-liked. While Jessica was more the introvert, taking her time to warm up before getting social, Jennifer was always the center of attention making friends the instant she walked into a room. She lived vicariously, watching boys fall over themselves trying to get her attention. Even teachers seemed to treat her better than other students.
How much better my life would be if I could only be more like Jennifer Lawrence! So Jessica tried. She played the sports Jennifer played, wore similar clothes, tried diet after diet to match her slenderness, talked like her, walked like her, and acted like her. She was convinced she had the formula for success and happiness.
Then one summer her mother found her trying to bleach her hair. Some chunks of hair had turned pumpkin orange, some nearly white and the rest reddish-brown. Her mother was devastated, as was she. When her mother asked her why would she do anything to ruin her beautiful brown hair, she told her how much she wanted a better color, like Jennifer's. In her great wisdom, her mother said
"It's funny how we sometimes want what we don't have. The grass seems greener on the other side of the fence. But then, when you get there and look back, you realize the grass was just as green if not more brilliant on your own side. If you spend all of your time trying to be someone else, there is no time left to discover who you are. What you need to remember is no one can be a better Jennifer Lawrence than Jennifer Lawrence, in the same way that no one can be a better you, than you yourself. So, it makes no sense to waste your time trying to be her. She will always do a better job than you can. But if you focus on being the best you can be, no one can ever exceed you."
It was a great lesson for her. Being true to herself was effortless in comparison to trying to be someone she was not. The more she honored what was authentic to herself, the better she performed, the more confident she became, the bigger the impact she made and the happier she was. It was a lesson she carried into her professional career, because there will always be pressure, whether external or self-imposed, to conform to a perceived model for happiness or effectiveness or potential or whatever you happen to be measured against.
Individuality is one of our greatest assets. It requires a commitment to know thyself, plus vigilance in resisting the temptation to become something we are not. It takes courage to speak your truth and follow your passion, particularly when it departs from the status quo, but the closer to genuine the greater the likelihood for success. Interestingly, what is true for the individual is also true for business. Companies that get caught up in the competition and stray too far from their core competencies frequently flounder or fail. Those resurrected are often saved by reconnection with the fundamentals of their unique raison d'etre.
If there is a moral to her story, it is this: there will always be a place for the unique person you are, so be at ease with what that means to you and confident in knowing it is more than enough to succeed.
