Personal Development Topics

 

Topics discussed on 1/6:

Also merging content from previous email so that you all have one view of it.

 

Book:  How to Memorize Anything by Aditi Singhal, Sudhir Singhal.

Topic: Understanding Memory

Wondering why we forget things we did just few minutes back. Let understand how human memory works:

• Potential of memory: 100 billion neurons, each about 1000 connections to store knowledge exponentially increase memory with each connection to about 2.5 petabytes.
• Memory would improve with more knowledge we feed to it, has not much impact due to age
• We are all Equal: Each individual has almost the same size of memory (Same hardware 😊)

 

How are memories formed: (3Rs of Memory) Registration, Retention, Recollection

• Registration: (Critical step in ensuring we remember)
1. Missing Keys: You were not able to remember where you placed keys because you never consciously register where when you kept those somewhere
2. We register information with five senses: Sight, Hearing, Smell, Taste, Touch. Associate information with more senses to remember it better.
• Retention:
1. E.g. We forget Words learned few days back, It’s Memory leak.
2. Strong association with prior knowledge, clear, vivid, imagery followed by periodic revision are key to the retention
3. Important aspects:

                                                               i.      Attention: Focus/attention to the fact/information makes strong imprint on memory creation. Information stored without specific attention is more likely to get lost. Attention/Focus means stable mind thinking only one thing at a time. Mere repetition/revision without focus will not improve memory

                                                             ii.      Interest: Interest play big role in forming stronger bonds in brain. We remember things/information which interests us for longer even till end of life.

                                                           iii.      Emotions: Similar to interest, emotional attachment has much stronger impact to memory. We almost never forget something which has emotional impact to us.

• Recollection:
1. E.g. A subject studied well but not able to answer during exam
2. State of mind at the time of recollection impacts ability to recollect.
3. Meditation, relaxation helps improving recollection.
• Quite a few techniques are described in book for Training Memory. Happy practicing… 😊

 

Book: 7 Habits of Highly Effective People:

 

• Paradigms and Principles:
1. Character Ethics == Foundation of success: Integrity, humility, fidelity, temperance, courage, justice, patience, industry, simplicity, modesty.
2. Personality Ethics -- (Secondary Greatness): Public image, attitude, behavior, skills and techniques
3. Ensure you work towards improving Character than Personality.
• Habit 1:  Be Proactive  --You are the creator
1. It means we are responsible for our own lives
2. Our behavior is function of our decisions
• Habit 2:  Begin with the end in mind
1. Create your personal Mission Statement
• Habit 3: Put first things first
1. Time Management topic described below
• Habit 4: Think Win-Win
1. Win-Win topic described below
• Habit 5: First Seek to Understand and then to Be Understood

1.       Seek to Understand

a. Influencing others

                                                                                 i.            You cannot influence just with techniques - others will sense duplicity and manipulation

                                                                               ii.            Real Key to your influence is you as an example, your actual conduct

                                                                             iii.            Your example flows naturally out of your character or the kind of person you truly are

                                                                             iv.            Public performance and private performance should match

b. Empathic listening

                                                                                 i.            "Seek first to understand"

                                                                               ii.            We're filled with our own rightness, our own autobiography.

1.       Our conversation become monologues

                                                                             iii.            We may practice pretending., attentive listening, paying attention and focusing energy on the words.. This is not enough

                                                                             iv.            Active listening

1.       Should not be with intent to reply, to control, to manipulate.

2.       Should be with intent to understand. - another person's frame of reference.

3.       Empathy is not sympathy (Sympathy - means you agree with someone, it makes others dependent).

4.       Empathy means you fully, deeply, understand that person, emotionally as well as intellectually.

5.       Communication - only 10% words, 30% - sound and 60 % body language.

6.       Listen with your ears, eyes and heart.

7.       Listen for feeling, for meaning, for behavior. You intuit, you sense, you feel.

8.       Empathic listening gives accurate data.

                                                                               v.            Diagnose before you prescribe.

                                                                                 i.            Four Autobiographical responses.

1.       Evaluate - agree or disagree

2.       Probe - ask questions

3.       Advise - we give counsel based on our own experience

4.       Interpret - try to figure out people to explain their motives, behavior based on motives

2.       Seek to be Understood

1.       Seeking to understand requires Consideration. Seeking to be understood takes Courage.

2.       Ethos - Personal credibility, the faith people have in your integrity and competency.

3.       Pathos - it's the feeling - alignment with the emotional thrust of another person's communication

4.       Logos - the reasoning part of the presentation.

5.       Effective Presentation

                                                                                                               i.            Ethos, Pathos, Logos - your character, relationships and logic.

                                                                                                             ii.            Jumping directly to logic is biggest mistake. First take into consideration Ethos and Pathos.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Topic Effective management is putting first things first. (Time Management)

Management is discipline, carrying it out

 

Four generations of time management

First generation- Notes and checklists - recognition and inclusiveness to the many demands placed on our time and energy.

Second generation - calendars and appointment books

Third generation - prioritization, clarifying values, comparison of relative worth of activities--- specific goals - short term and long-term targets - daily planning

Fourth generation focus on preserving and enhancing relationships and accomplishing results rather than just time and things management.

Opportunities to develop rich relationships, spontaneity and quality of life

 

Quadrant II Focus:

 

	Urgent	Not Urgent
Important	I   Activities: Crisis Pressing problems Deadline-driven projects	II   Activities: Prevention, PC activities Relationship building Recognizing new opportunities Planning, recreation
Not Important	III   Activities: Interruptions, some calls Some mail, some reports Some meetings Proximate, pressing matters. Popular activities	IV   Activities Trivia, busy work Some mail Some phone calls. Time wasters Pleasant activities

 

 

	Urgent	Not Urgent
Important	I   Results: Stress Burnout Crisis Management	II   Results: Vision, perspective Balance Discipline Control Few crisis
Not Important	III   Results: Short Term Focus Crisis Management Reputation-chameleon Character See goals and plans as worthless Feel Victimized, out of control Shallow or broken relationships	IV   Activities Total irresponsibility Dependent on others or institutions for basics

 

 

 

Topic Think Win-Win

 

 

 

Win-Win:

Win-Win or no Deal.

Win - Lose

Lose - Win

Lose/Lose

 

Five Dimensions of Win/Win

 

Exercise of each of the unique human endowments - self-awareness, imagination, conscience, and independent will in our relationships with others

 

The principle of Win/Win is fundamental to success in all our interaction and it embraces five interdependent dimensions of life.

 

Begins with Character and moves towards relationships out of which flow agreements

Its nurtured in an environment where structure and systems are based on Win/Win and it involves process

 

Character: - This is foundation. Everything is built on it

3 Character traits:

1.       Integrity - Habit 1,2 and 3 help us develop integrity.

2.       Maturity - balance between courage and consideration If person can express his feelings and convictions with courage balanced with consideration for the feelings and convictions of another person, he is mature.

0.       Abundance Mentality

a.       Paradigm that there is plenty out there for everybody.

b.       People with scarcity mentality have a very difficult time sharing recognition and credit, power or profit - even with those who help in production.

c.       Public Victory does not mean victory over other people. It means success in effective interaction that brings mutually beneficial results to everyone involved.

 

Relationships

1.       The trust, the Emotional Bank Account, is the essence of Win/Win.

2.       A relationship where bank account are high and both parties are deeply committed to Win/Win is the ideal springboard for tremendous synergy (Habit 6).

 

Agreement

Note: An agreement means very little in letter without character and relationship

Five elements of Win/win agreements:

1.       Desired results: (not methods) identify what is to be done and when

2.       Guidelines: specify parameters (principles, policies)

3.       Resources: identify the human, financial, technical or organizational support available to help accomplish the results.

4.       Accountability: sets up the standards or performance and the time of evaluation

5.       Consequences: good and bad, natural and logical what does and will happen as a result of evaluation.

 

Developing win/win performance agreement is the central activity of management.

 

Systems

Win/Win can only survive in an organization when the systems support it.

Often the problem is in the system, not in the people. If you put good people in bad systems, you get bad results. You have to water the flowers you want to grow.

As People really learn to think Win/Win, they can set up the systems to create and reinforce it. They can transform unnecessarily competitive situations to cooperative once  they can powerfully impact their effectiveness by building both P and PC.

 

In business executives can align their systems to create teams of highly productive people working together to compete against external standards of performance.

 

Process

First, See the problem from the other point of view- Seek to understand and to give expression to the needs and concerns of the other party as well as or better than they can themselves

Second, identify the key issues and concerns (not positions) involved

Third determine what results would constitute a fully acceptable solution

Fourth identify possible new options to achieve those results.